Report #40 2012, December 7th
A Bond

All soldiers, all of them, in a sense are soldiers, like me, I am able to understand them, talk to them about things other than about IT, that's bad, but it feels good.

I have been walking around their base for two days now, each day trying to find a way out, a route to escape and most of the time, I would end up talking to them, about them, about me, how we ended up here, what we had before, where we were before, who we were before, talking to them about life, something I never talked about in ten years now, it felt good, but it was wrong, so very wrong.

I'm falling apart, I actually started wondering if I want to leave this place at all, we have a common target, all of us here understand each other better than any runner understands their fellow runner, same goes for a proxy. This is wrong, I can feel it, but maybe I was destined to die in the wrong? I was in the wrong for ten years now, maybe what is wrong for me, is the correct thing in life? A life where getting emotional is normal, is not a weakness, not a liability, I don't know what I want anymore.

Why does this blog exist? Was it really for "recording" purposes? Or was it just because I wanted to talk to people, because this was the only way I could do that? I don't even know myself anymore, loosing it, have to get myself together.

So far I'm pondering if I should stay here, tomorrow I will start going on missions, I'll give it a week, then I will decide if I want to stay with these people, see if I was wrong all these ten years.

I hope not, other wise I wasted ten years on nothing.

Report #40 Ended.

Report #39 2012, December 6th
Getting used to

A room, with a bed, good food served everyday, highly secure base of operations, weaponry, tech, these guys sure know how to handle themselves. But we all know very well that there's nothing that can protect you from IT, I would escape, but the problem is, they would shoot me down on sight, labeling me as a traitor.

Those guys have lot's of men here, some computer geeks, some trained soldiers or Ex-Marines even, all of them having access to military equipment, either these guys work for a higher organization, like FBI or some other shit like that, either these guys are mercenaries.

Recently I asked why did they recruit me? The answer was simple, I survived for a very long time, proved that I can handle myself and survive, they needed recruits like that. Now my bargaining rights were not that good, I either joined them, or they put a bullet trough my forehead and be done with it.

I have been given two days of rest, then I am officially going on missions, which mostly consist of wiping out those Proxies, now you may ask, why don't I want to stay with them? They seem to be doing the same thing I wanted to do. Well because, we all know strength does not lie in numbers when it comes to our tall friend. I need to get out of this "Organization" and fast, but have no idea how.

Report #39 Ended.

Report #38 2012, December 5th
The Return

I'm back, to be clear this is Incognito, I don't know what made that fuck Kelevra stop using my Blog, but it is clear that he has all the access to my equipment back in my Van, which makes me pretty fucking pissed.

Must apologize in advance for any of he's mind fucking comments on other blogs.

Now to explain my disappearance, remember that I was about to go into another Proxy base undercover? Well that actually worked, you will not believe how fucking giant that Church is, what you will not believe is how many there was of those fucks, simply unbelievable.

But overall I got myself into The Church, fooling them, making them think I was one of them (Another weakness noted: Easily fooled), it was a recruitment center of sorts and a place where they sacrificed runners, so much blood on that fucking table, you will not believe.

But what was least expected, is a bunch of some sort of soldiers breaking trough every fucking hole in the building, those guys were very well armed, all of them had full body vests something you can not get so easily. Those people were professionals. Not one second passes as they start cleaning house, I had to react fast and take cover under those Church benches which are long as fuck, provided me with enough cover, it was a blood shed, Proxies didn't waste much time either, there was a lot more of them and they used those odds to take out some of those soldiers, one of them dropped a gun, a 5.56mm rifle, fucking hell, those things don't lie around in shops, this was some serious weaponry and I had it in my hands, there is a Heaven.

I have no idea how much ammo this thing has, so save up the bullets as much as I can, steadily crawling over to the nearest exit, but when I was out, I was knocked out.

Next thing, I wake up near some sort of building deep in the forest, looks abandoned, but inside, a fucking base of operations. Next thing I know, I'm being dragged by those soldiers inside the building, they put me in an interrogation room and asked me questions, they didn't really explain who they were, they just called themselves "The Organization", apparently they deal in Proxy wipe out an study of the pale faced fuck, kept me locked in that fucking room for a month.

Meanwhile, Kelevra, gets access to my Van and takes over my blog, right now I'm in The Organization's base, they trust me, they checked my story, they don't know who I am, but they know what I've been trough is true, right now, I'm in their base, using their PC to post this.

Also, I'm working for them now, to be more precise part of their elimination squad, I don't like doing it, but as long as they give me shelter, I will have to work with them.

Got a lot of catching up to do.

Report #38 Ended.