Report #95 2013, September 14th.
The last post, about my family, that was what happened on the next turn that I took, the memories of them, of how happy we were, it hurt, for many years I finally felt pain. A bullet wound, a knife stab, any physical pain, it's nothing, it isn't pain, it's just a feeling that lets you know that you're body is still alive. Memories like this, that's the true pain.
At the end of this road, once again I ended up at the crossroads, I went down all the roads, except the road that was labeled as the "Right" road. Having nowhere to go, I started walking down that road.
IT was there, after what seemed like hours of walking, IT was there, I gripped my Ax tighter, standing in the middle, I stared at it and after a few minutes IT spread IT's arms making the sun light behind it shine into my eyes, making me cover them up. Once IT put IT's arms down, the Sun light was blocked again and I could open my eyes again.
It stopped, I swear it stopped, my heart, it just stopped, there were tears on my cheeks, tears that weren't cried ever since the day when Kristina and Mashutka.....
They... They were running towards me... Kristine and Masha, both of them running towards me, I was like a statue, stood still, I couldn't believe it, that feeling, it's...it's indescribable. I just stood there and prayed that it would be an illusion.
And that moment, when... when both of them hugged me, Kristine wrapping her arms around me and Mashutka...hugging my leg, it was them, it was really them, the smell, the feeling, they were not an illusion., they were real. For the first time, I felt fear, fear of them being afraid of me, of them accusing me, of them seeing me as a monster. But they...
"There you are."
"Daddy, where were you?"
"You're mom called, she invited all of us over."
"Daddy, Serezha said he wants to be friends."
"We Missed you."
"Me and Mommy missed you."
"Come back to us."
And I saw IT, watching this scene, spreading IT's arms, IT was watching, observing. I started shaking, I wasn't hugging them, they were hugging me, my fear, slowly turning to hatred, hatred for IT, for bringing them back.
That's when my hand that held the Axe started shaking more and then...............
I killed them.....again.
The same way they had died before, I tried to do it as painlessly as possible, the look of terror in Masha's eyes, the same as it was all those years ago.
Hatred taken over, I saw IT and I felt IT, for the first time I actually felt IT and IT was.... IT wasn't shocked, IT wasn't fascinated, IT was....scared? Something similar to that feeling.
That's when I started running at IT, IT was sending IT's tendrils my way, some of them were able to scratch me, but that didn't slow me down, I didn't feel pain, I didn't care, all I wanted was to drive this Axe, with my Family's blood on it, into IT's head.
IT wasn't really attacking, I saw IT attack before, it was more like IT was trying to defend.
I was able to chop off a couple of tentacles as I was running at IT, once I got close to IT, I lunged at IT, trying to drive my Axe into IT's head, but that is when I was cut short. While I was in mid-air IT was able to wrap one of IT's tendrils around my neck.
IT brought me in closer to IT's face, the feeling of.....fear? Has disappeared, IT felt like IT was in control again, I was biting, struggling against the tendril, but no use, but I seized one opportunity, once it brought me closer to IT's head, I was able to gather my last strength and head butt IT as hard as I could. It was liked I just hit a brick wall, yet it didn't hurt, couple of seconds later I felt it, something warm running down my face from my forehead, but when I opened my eyes, I wasn't the only one bleeding, IT had some black substance running down IT's forehead, it wasn't Azoth, or maybe it was, but it felt differently, it was a lot more....liquid.
So there I am, being slowly choked to death and I don't think about anything, I'm not there, I'm not feeling anything, I didn't care that I was dying, I didn't care about anything really, I was just a blank.
And then she interfered, the woman, the pale woman, out of nowhere she was able to grab me and I was out of there, on top of my Van.
The rest went as followed.
That was it.