Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Fathers Day

Is long since has past, I wanted to make this post in dedication to my and Incognito's father on that day, but I was busy driving and Incognito himself didn't really want to.

Our father, he was a true man, he served in the military, during one of his vacations he met our mother, fell in loved and thus Incognito came to be. He was also rewarded for his services to his country and was assigned to the role as a KGB agent.

I knew he was an awesome dude, when they adopted me, he had no problem with it, absolutely none, it was our Mother's idea to adopt me, and Father, he had no problem with it, usually parents have disagreement about those kind of things. He also made me and Incognito feel like brothers when we were kids, since I was older he told me that I have a responsibility in protecting my younger brother, I promised to him that I will protect him no matter what, a promise I am keeping until this very day.

Human wise, he was a gentleman, didn't smoke, he did drink, but not too much and only on special days. Every time that he would argue with our mother, he would always let her win in that argument weather she was right, or wrong. He taught us many things, mostly how to do all the things a man was supposed to know how to do, he also wanted us to follow in his footsteps, so me and Incognito were sent of into the army.

Many people are afraid of the army, or don't want to, me and Incognito were passionate about serving our country, because our old man inspired us. And surely, in the end, Incognito ended up following in his footsteps, I got a little side tracked along the way. Good thing he and mother were gone by the time when I killed a tram full of people. Why did I do that? It was the adrenaline, the knowledge of me getting hurt, I liked it. I got that fascination with the pain, from my original old man, sadly I can't really talk about him.

Actually I think I can, Incognito told me that we are not keeping any secrets any more, that our identities do not matter, so revealing our past is no problem now. So I guess this post is not only dedicated to me and Incognito's Father, it is also dedicated to my original Father and do I fucking hate him. That old fart left my mother the day I was born, oh he did come to visit, but those were the days that I would spend hiding under my bed. He was a fucking drunk.

As a kid I kept telling myself, that, that wasn't dad who was doing all those things, its the alcohol inside of him, I always tried to forgive him for all the things he said, or did. I used to have a cat, she was a pretty, little kitty, black and white. On the day of father's visit, she gave birth to two little kittens, and then Father came unexpectedly as always, drunk as always, started yelling at mom and slapping her, and all that. I was trying to get to my bedroom without being noticed, carrying two little kittens in a card board box, but that fuck saw me.

He came over to me dragging mom by her hair, grabbed the box away from me and went to the kitchen, I was crying, running after him, yelling at him, cursing him, I was trying to reach for the kittens, but I was too weak, he easily struck me to the ground, and then he proceeded to fill the sink with water, while saying things like "In parenting, kids always remember the bad things, when two parents yell at each other, it is engraved in a kid's mind for ever" he took out a gun and put it to my moms head "So lets see your limit kid" he told me to drown the kittens, or else he would kill mom.

To this very day, I still hear the meowing, gurgling, I still feel the scratches on my arms, still remember how their lifeless bodies were floating in the water. After he that, he laughed like a fucking prick and left. After that, my mom gave me up for adoption and left the country herself, I don't blame her, it was the safest thing to do, that old fart would never find us.

Few years pass, I'm a KGB agent and I use the resources to find where that old fart is right now, he was in a bar drinking away his life, as usual. I payed him a visit, I enjoyed every second of it, I cracked a bottle over his head, dragged him to the outside, there was a river nearby, I started drowning him, this time, the gurgling, the screaming, the pain, the adrenaline that was circling through me, I enjoyed every second of it, after that I became addicted to pain.

So yeah, my past isn't really bad and isn't really that good. Phew this was good for me, I feel better already, feel better that I can go and ask to drive again.


  1. Well sir, I read Lily's post and thought, "Wow, I wish I knew my father" and now I've read this post and am conflicted. Very, very conflicted. Incognito's father sounds awesome, though. Like a sir!

    My brother and stepfather taught me how to do the things a man was supposed to know how to do, traditionally anyway, despite being a girl. "Feminine" stuff, like sewing, cooking, I just did not have the fucking patience or attention span required.

    Neither was like a father, though, more like two sort-of brothers. Dunno what it's like to have a dad, like the kind Incognito described, like watching over the girl with the kite to make sure she was safe, I didn't have that, that's part of the reason I cried.

    1. I was plannin' on askin' why you were cryin' from Incognito's post. Now I get it. Listen' kid while some father's are awesome, other's are just fuckin' horrible. My old man is a good example.

      Such dads, turn you into a person you are today, mine turned me into a adrenalin' addict and overall a horrible fuckin' person.

      Now I'm not sayin' it is a good thin' that you don' know yer father, but...put it this way. If you knew yer father, you wouldn' be who ya are today, you could'a a been in a worse place, or in a better.

      No point in being sad over it now, what is important, is that you had a family, condolences by the way.

    2. I said that was part of the reason. He said that family was dead, but they probably didn't deserve it, because they were just milling around being a family. And then something ended that. And that hits close to home.

    3. Yes that is true. Again, sorry for what happened. Keep it together aight? Don't dwell to deep into philosophy right now, in your current state, that's bad.